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Winner or Looser??

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When I was a child my father used to say “Mera beta engineer banega(My son will be an engineer)”.My mom used to say “Mera beta ek Music composer banega(My son will be a Music composer)”.My father is an Executive Civil Engineer and my mother was one of the best singers of the state with lots of awards and certificates hanging all over our place.So it’s obvious for them to think about my future in their perspective.My father always used to teach me mathematics and science.He is a gold medalist in mathematics olympiad.He is a genius mathematician and equally awesome in science.So he used to teach me and always wanted me to be the top in class,which I actually was.My mother appointed a music teacher for me.I tried and did whatever I could to satisfy my parents.But I was stretched between their expectations and my dreams.They never asked me what I actually wanted to do and I think hardly any parents do.Right from my childhood I have a great attraction for Art.I used to watch cartoon network for hours with my paintbrush and colours around me.I used to paint whatever I see in the tv.I used to make flip books,houses and trees with matchsticks and build sand houses and stuff like that.I was enjoying my time.:D

Things again started changing when college life started.My father was now more serious about my engineering.What that meant was more study and less art.I was fucked up.But again I did what my parents wanted me to do.But inside I was more curious about art and different art schools(specially animation school).I used to read newspaper ads and surf internet to find more about them.I had a secret folder where I used to hide those info so that no one will see them.I attended my exams got good marks and then engineering entrance exams.My father said you should be an Architect.For Architecture I was on top 400 among the 15000 students who attended the AIEEE(All India Engineering Entrance Exam) from my state.But I had a secret I was hiding from him.I secretly applied for Animation entrance test without asking him and was selected.I don’t know what happened but at that very moment I said to myself it’s now or never.I just said to him I don’t want to become an Architect.I don’t want to add and subtract numbers,don’t want to measure the degrees all my life,I want to be an Animator,an Artist,a Film maker.After a long argument and request my father said if that’s what you have decided to do why wasted time on all those engineering tutions and exams.I smiled and said because I love you Dad.I proved I have the ability to become a great architect but that’s definitely not what I want to do.After a long silence he said pack your bags we are leaving for your Animation entrance tomorrow.I jumped with joy.The very next day my father and me left for Mumbai.So I kicked my engineering entrance rank tossed my luck in the air and came to Mumbai to live my dream.

I did well in animation too and then completed another course in film and television editing.I also did a special course in programming and web design.After all those I thought I am going to get a good job.But life took another surprising turn when I saw there’s a lot of competition,not with talent but with money.Wherever I tried for a job they wanted money or else if you have connections with political leaders or famous persons.I ran from place to place for a job or a chance to show my talent but all in vain.I was staying with my friends and everyone of us was talented but all of us were facing the same problem.Most of them left Mumbai and their dreams and returned home but I wasn’t ready to leave my dreams.After a lot of struggle I atlast got a job and from that day I never looked back again.My talent was recognized and I started climbing one step at a time.There’s still a lot to do,many more steps to climb and desires to fulfill.Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.There are more obstacles than ways to success.Life takes more than it gives,but one thing that’s sure is I will never give up on my dreams and will never stop trying.

Every morning I wake up to see an obstacle trying to defeat me..but struggle has made me so strong that defeat has just become a morning coffee for me which I drink with pleasure.

I’ve learned, pain means alive.Staying away from home for years with no one around you or for you and still walking tall takes a bit extra than determination.I sometimes fall very sick too and with no one around I have to take care of myself but that never made me run away from my dreams.I love my dreams and I want to live every moment of them.Paying the bill with personal loss for all those success sometimes makes me think am I the Winner or Looser??

My story continues with me….

Abhisek 😀